Ramblings from Iraq

I haven't really updated in a while, and part of it is definitely due to lack of time. I haven't read too many books since I've gotten here, but there are about three that I could post on. For the most part, I have a good routine down, although I wish there was more time in the day: to sleep, to read, to watch DVDs of TV shows, to go the gym. Basically, the way things are going right now, I only have time to really two to three of those things (sleeping, exercising, reading in order of time spent on each activity daily).

The thing is that while on occasion being on a twelve hour shift kind of sucks, I actually quite enjoy what I'm doing. I like the responsibility, I like feeling like I actually know what's going on etc. And honestly, I've mostly developed a pretty good schedule. It's just I've seriously been dragging the last few days, and I have no idea why. I've also been getting headaches whenever I run which may be a result of something I did while doing deadlifts on Thursday (is it possible to pop a blood vessel from straining too much - I may have been using a heavier weight than I was ready for). I've gone to bed at the usual time lately, but I've been so tired at work that I've made the guys I usually go to meals with stop at the coffee shop afterwards so I could get double shots of espresso. It worked out well today, though the fact that I waited till after dinner to do this last night may have been part of my problem today . . . I slept last night but maybe not quite as soundly as usual.

For people that are still commenting on my blog, thank you and I am sorry I haven't responded. I can check my email at work, so I see the comments, but the site itself is blocked so I can't actually respond, and I'm really too busy to do much non-work related stuff beyond having my email account open. The internet in my room is touch and go - sometimes it's almost normal, other times, especially in the evenings, it takes forever for pages to load. It probably doesn't help that I usually get back from the gym around 10ish which is when everyone seems to be online, leading to a slow connection.

I've been good about going to the gym after work (as long as I get off work somewhat on time . . . generally, if I stay more than an hour late, the gym doesn't happen, but fortunately, a lot of deadlines have been moved up in the past month so my regular reports are due during the day, and I don't have to wait around too much after my shift to finish them up) but I really was hoping that by this time in the deployment I would be going twice a day . . . or to be more precise, that I would be doing cardio twice a day - I go twice a day a few times a week since I've been lifting over lunch three times a week, but I cannot get myself up in the mornings to go to the gym. For some crazy reason, I thought that maybe I could wean myself off sleep some as the deployment progressed but that doesn't seem to be an option. I would also like to say that all those magazines that say that exercising gives you more energy are full of shit . . . I still need as much sleep when I exercise regularly as when I don't.

I have received some good news in the past day, though. Actually, I guess it was Friday and Sunday that I was exhausted - yesterday, I was actually in a really good mood - maybe I simply used up all my energy for the week on Saturday :p . . . anyway, I found out that I will be moving to a new position in the next few months, and taking a command. I knew I was going to get a command with this unit at some point, and I was hoping I would get one in the spring, but based on some courses of actions I'd heard being considered, I thought I probably wouldn't get one until later on. Now, it's happening sooner than I expected or hoped for, so I'm really happy about that. This may mean longer hours than I already have but I also think it will mean slightly more flexibility in some ways. I'm definitely happy about it, though, and honestly, my current position was really a great way to prepare me for the demanding hours of command. I admit, I'd had it a bit easy for the previous year as far as actual work schedule was concerned (I got so lucky last deployment - we put in a lot of hours pre-deployment but once we were in Taji, it really wasn't too bad). Anyway, things are actually going very well professionally, and I am enjoying myself. If only I didn't feel so attached to sleep . . .

My Weekend So Far

This weekend was my first real weekend in Savannah. I wish I could say I spent it exploring the historical Savannah area or downtown but for the most part, I was more concerned with finding a good internet connection . . . the wireless in my hotel has been down the past two days, so I've been hanging out in Barnes and Noble and Panera (I finally found it - I knew it was near Barnes and Noble since I saw two people walk into B&N with Panera pastries). Although, I always feel so much more productive when I take my computer somewhere and do things. You'd figure the internet is the internet so I'd still have the same distractions regardless but I just tend to actually write and get things done when I'm at a cafe. I was actually talking to a friend of mine recently and we were joking about ways we see ourselves, and I said when I was a kid, I'd always imagined myself sitting in a dark study behind a wooden desk with a glass of scotch, smoking, behind a typewriter (not that I wanted to take up smoking but it was part of the image). You know, the stereotypical view of a writer. Now, when I feel like I'd love to be a writer (not that I have anything to write about, I've never even written a short story), I see myself with a shiny laptop and a white chocolate mocha at Starbucks.

Friday was a training holiday so I spent it at Barnes and Noble, a local Wildlife Center (most of the animals were too smart to actually come out in the heat), and explored downtown a little bit. There are a ton of restaurants down there I can't wait to try, and I also had a chocolate praline at a local candy store. I'd never actually had one before since I don't generally like pecans (wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that I couldn't even pronounce the word properly for a large part of my life?) - it was very good.

For the most part, I agree that the Savannah area is very nice, even if I'm disappointed by the fact that some of my favorite chain restaurants are nowhere in the area (such as Chipotle and Red Robin). Unfortunately, Savannah is still about a 45 minute drive to base. Now, in general, the towns right by Army bases aren't exactly famous for having that much to do or being very metropolitan but I'm a bit surprised by how little there is to do in Hinesville. There isn't even a Starbucks (excluding the one on post, which I do, because they have a smaller selection, meaning none of the sandwiches, and they don't accept my Starbucks card). Or a Panera. Yes, I know, these are all little things and it's not like I had them in Germany. Also, the movie theater is cash only. I generally don't like to carry cash on me but fortunately I had some on me for once, and they have an ATM inside anyway (I saw Salt on Wednesday or Thursday - it was fun, but I totatlly saw one of the twists coming due to a storyline from Lost and had some good guesses about other twists just in general - still fun, though).

Some Thoughts on Friendship

I've been in kind of a weird mood lately . . . or maybe now that I'm getting ready to return to a life of real responsibilities and challenges, I'm starting to return to my default mood of depressed and cynical with feelings of inadequacy and mediocrity. Of course, I'm mostly kidding. I don't really vent or rant on this blog too often for several reasons (one being the whole "what if my Soldiers read this" issue), one of the main ones being that if I use my blog to deal with a bad mood, I'm afraid my parents will take it too seriously and start worrying when it's really just a passing feeling. Sometimes, I'm just having a bad day and need to share. Doesn't mean anything needs to be read into it (Dad!).

I graduated from my course at the beginning of July, and officially signed out of my unit yesterday. Over the last six months, I've met quite a few new people and saw others from previous military experiences again, including college ROTC, LDAC (otherwise known as that summer camp thing between junior and senior year of college), TBOLC (my LT course) and even my deployment (not that I recognized the guy - he was the one who started the game of "where do I know who from" which in the Army usually involves questions like, where were you stationed, when did you go to this Army school, when were you deployed, where were you deployed to, why the hell do you look familiar then). We definitely had fun and all but now that we're all leaving and going our separate ways, I've been thinking about the concept of friendship and how it's changed.

Obviously, when I'm out with a group of people, I'll usually say things like "oh, I'm here with my friends" or "my friends and I are going to Busch Gardens this weekend" but when it really comes down to it, I'm not sure how much I'll really keep in touch with these people once I leave. It seems like I made a bunch of good acquaintances with the potential for friends but I'm not sure if I'd quite use that term.

And I'm not sure if I just define the word friend a little more strictly than others, or if it's just that I'm less open to new long-term relationships of any kind. I remember I used to be somewhat good at keeping in touch with people - when we moved to Washington after I finished 7th grade, I continued to talk to my friend Daniel for years. When we left Seattle for Illinois between my freshmen and sophomore year, I kept in touch with my friend Stephanie until after college graduation, though we were definitely drifting that final year. While I am Facebook friends with a few people from high school, I don't actually speak to any of them anymore. I only still really maintain ties with two friends from college (and two former professors), one of whom is my best friend and the other obviously rather close. I still regularly speak to about two of the people from my LT course (not including the ones that just attended this past course with me because obviously, that didn't require actual effort). Even the people I was just in Germany with, I haven't really spoken to in quite a while. Can I blame the fact that I don't have an international calling plan?

Although given today's technology, it can also be rather weird. For example, my friends from Germany, while I haven't actually emailed them or spoken to them in months, I still kind of know a bit about what's going on in their lives due to FB and their blogs. And we comment on each other's statuses and updates. But it's definitely not the same thing as actually talking to them. And FB is great for keeping in touch with people to an extent, but at some point, reading status updates doesn't actually stand in for a relationship or friendship.

I guess I've just been thinking about the nature of friendships and how it's changed over the years. My best friend and I met move-in day of our freshmen year of college, and basically saw each other every day for the next two years (she did some other stuff her junior year). And would talk to each other online almost daily as well. We definitely don't do that anymore. We tend to text now more than anything else. Or chat over gmail. However, due to that original intimacy, we are still very close (despite one major fight and falling out - I cannot live with friends at all). I've told her quite a few things that I haven't told anyone else. Or gone into more detail about it than with others. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like it's almost impossible to build close friendships like that now . . . they probably just take a lot more time to develop now with age. It also just seems like at this point in life, most people have their best friends and their support systems, and while they aren't going to say no to more friends, that type of intensity (seeing each other on a daily basis, talking on the phone etc.) is really reserved more for significant others and dating. I might be talking out of my ass on that one though - I haven't been on a date in like three years so I wouldn't know.

I'm not saying that I don't want to keep in touch with these people but I'm just not sure if it will quite happen. As much as I like them, I'm not at the point either where I feel like I would tell them anything. Not that I feel they'd judge necessarily, but as a friend of mine put it: we've become more guarded. As I said, FB can be a great tool, but I think it can also give the false illusion that you're keeping up with people when really, you're just reading their updates and forgetting to add in that whole human interaction bit.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this but it's on my mind at the moment. And blogging is so much more fun than cleaning my apartment or sorting through my clothes to determine what I'll be wearing in the next week and is therefore going in the small bag vs. the big suitcase.

Time for another Transition - Yay?

I have about a week left of CLC3 (Combined Logistics Captains' Career Course) and then it's time to pack up and head to my next duty station. I definitely have mixed feelings about that one. We just finished up Phase 3 of the course, which was the part that involved going to Eustis and dealing with branch-specific things rather than the whole multi-functional logistician angle. Honestly, I enjoyed the Transportation portion of this course more than anything else. I really am not excited about the fact that in a week I will be considered a logistician and not a transporter. I've also come to realize that I would love to command a pure transportation company and with where my next duty assignment is taking me, I will probably not have that opportunity (unless I'm somehow get command in the SB that supports the BCT I'm going to).

I haven't been blogging much, but I have been reading, though not as much as usual. I'm not sure if I've just been too unfocused or keep picking books that I'm just not in the right mindset for. Or maybe the books really are just crappy. I've also been rewatching Buffy, though I was a little hesitant to start the 4th season because on the one hand - Buffy, and Giles, and Anya! On the other - Riley. Every time he comes on screen, I just start telling him to die already.

I finally went to New York City for the first time ever over Memorial Day Weekend. Unfortunately, I still seemed to have the worst hangover of my life for the first day or two there (which leads me to think I had more than just a hangover - I didn't have that much to drink, I didn't black out or anything, but I couldn't keep food down for a day and a half). So I didn't do as much as I had originally planned but it was still a fun weekend. I saw two Broadway musicals, I went to the MET, I spent an afternoon reading in Central Park, went to the top of the Empire State Building, visited a Barnes and Nobles that claims to be the largest bookstore in the world, went to Tiffany's on 5th Avenue, and I met Dene, a fellow Pajiban. That was very awesome - lunch turned into a twelve hour day that involved a tour of the East Village, a few local bars, absolutely delicious Pickleback shots, and ended up with an amazing roof top view of the Manhattan skyline at night.

I finally read that Rolling Stones article that a few people have been talking about concerning General McChrystal last night/this morning. As usual, I'm completely unaware of what is going on around me, so I was rather late to the game. Probably yet another sign of my not really being a great officer. Is it bad that for the first half of the article I was more distracted by his anti-Gucci comments? I mean, I didn't love Paris, either - I thought it was a gorgeous city with way too many people and tourist, but I actually quite like Gucci and Prada. Oh well, way too focus on what's really important, right?

Yep, I'm Still Here

I haven't updated in a while, and part of it is because whenever I get on a computer nowadays, I seem to be distracted by Facebook, and lack of desire to be productive. I might have to start going to Starbucks because I've noticed being in a different setting usually helps with the productivity. I also haven't been reading quite as much the last few weeks because my social life has definitely been much busier since being at CLC3. I guess there's just something about having a lot of single officers (or geographical bachelors) with disposable income and no actual work responsibilities besides the occasional homework that fosters the opportunity to have one of those. I mean the majority of my fellow officers and peers are married, some even with children, but there are enough around here that aren't to make for some fun weekends. I spent the weekend before St. Patrick's Day at an Irish pub up in Richmond, and spent the actual day watching Lost.

After hearing about how awesome Lost was for almost six seasons, I finally decided to check it out, now that it is almost over. What can I say, I always join things late. Also, this saves me the frustration of waiting for answers for six years. I've watched three seasons in a week, and just ordered the next two. Obviously, I am enjoying it, but does everybody on that island have daddy-issues? Seriously, Locke's flashbacks kind of irritate me. I know I'm a little late to be adding me two cents but at least it's an update, right?

One Month Later

I've been back in the States for a little over a month now, and I'm really enjoying it so far. I had the best Valentine's Day I've had in a while today. I went to the gym and ran three miles, and then went to Chipotle's for dinner, and spent about two hours at Barnes and Noble, and also bought some cute new tops at The Limited.

For the most part, many things are just much more convenient in the States, although I think traveling was actually easier in Europe. That's probably just me, though. I think part of it is just that most of the places I want to go in the States are either too cold and snowy right now, or they really wouldn't be fun to visit alone - I mean, Las Vegas and Disney World are definitely for groups. I've never really enjoyed history museums that much (usually if a topic interests me, I would rather read a book which goes in depth than a poster board that is very general and makes everything sound awesome without getting into the moral and ethical conflicts involved). It's a whole other thing to visit some place and realize that at one point this famous historical figure stood here - that's kind of cool, but as much as I enjoy reading about the Civil War, I could care less about visiting the battle sites. Especially in the States, I feel like we sugarcoat our history when it comes to race relations, and the movement west as well as slavery and the Civil Rights. It is not as if the Civil Rights Movement fixed everything though one might get that idea from reading a poster board at museums on occasion. Okay, I definitely went on a bit of a tangent there.

One thing I have noticed about Virginia, and all my friends are commenting on it, too, is that the roads suck. A lot. The pot holes on the interstates here are ridiculously large.

I've met fun new people, I've gone out more in the past few weeks than I did in the last six months in Germany, and I've been able to go to the movies a few more times as well. Granted, I've seen two mediocre horror films in the past month that really could have done so much more with their premise (Daybreakers and The Wolfman), but it's so nice to be able to choose from several movies any given day rather than having to hope that the day you can go see a movie the theater is actually showing something worth seeing.

I can't wait to see where I'm actually going to end up after my school is complete. The branch manager will be here in the next month to talk to us, so hopefully, I'll get a cool unit in a good location - I'm not sure what's more important to me at the moment - location or unit type (honestly, it's a combination of the two - there's no way I would want Polk, but for a FSC, I might even be happy with Bragg - granted, I'm going to have to get really into running if that happens). Of course, somewhere like Ft. Lewis would have both the kind of unit I want and the location I want. I hope I didn't just jinx myself to Louisiana or North Carolina right now.

I'm actually thinking about signing up for a 10K because while I'm in a "I hate running" mood at the moment, if I have a goal in mind that I've committed to, it might help me get back into it, and I really should work on my distance and focus on something beyond just two miles. Also, all my new friends appear to be PT studs, so while there's no way I want to be on the same level as them, the peer pressure will probably help me get back into a little bit.

I actually don't even miss German food that much, or more accurately food available in Germany, such as the Italian and Greek restaurants. We went out Thursday night, and one of the other captains was stationed in Bamberg so we were both whining about wanting Doener as our post-drinking food, but other than that, I've been enjoying places like Panera's, Chipotle's and Starbucks too much.

I Don't Know What to Say

I know I have spent a post or two on this blog bitching about my German grandfather and his lack of interest. I haven't, however, mentioned my non-grandparents on here before.

When we moved back to the States originally back in '97, we ended up living in Kirkland, WA for two years. There was an older couple across the street from us, and we quickly developed a relationship with them. After we moved to Illinois, we stayed in close contact with them, and since I still had other friends in Washington, I usually would spend my spring breaks there, and there was always a spare bedroom for me at their place.

Evelyn has had myriad of health problems over the years but she has always been very tough, and kept right on going. She already had a muscle deterioration disease when we met her, but she would still be outside gardening all the time, with whatever contraption necessary to help her stand up. It was amazing how much she would still continue to do despite real health problems when my grandmother (my dad's mom) who was younger would take naps all the time and talk about how sick she was when there was really nothing wrong with her.

Despite all these health problems, Dick and Evelyn drove down to Illinois when I graduated college and commissioned. Dick and my mom pinned my rank on me, and then my dad gave me my first salute. I have long been referred to as the grandkid (compare this to the biological grandfather that couldn't even drive an hour and a half to see me). They sent me a few packages when I was downrange, and sent me cards for all the holidays.

Last March, Evelyn was diagnosed with cancer, and given a six month life expectancy. I had just taken leave back to the States right before so I couldn't go back to see her at that time. It is now January, and while she has had good and bad days, she was still hanging on. I figured I would go see her once my class started and I got the schedule. Given everything else Evelyn has ever had, I really thought she would just keep on going. She took a turn for the worse yesterday, so I'm flying out to Seattle this weekend to see her. At the moment, she can't speak but understands what people are saying to her. While her husband told my mom she might only have a week, for me it is hard to believe that she won't pull through somehow since she has been surprising doctors for a very long time now.

My maternal grandmother died very suddenly, so none of us had a chance to say goodbye to her, and I wasn't close to my paternal grandfather (I didn't even attend the funeral). While I want to go, of course, there's also a part of me that doesn't want to see the feisty old lady I knew in a weakened state. I've never had to deal with this kind of stuff before, which makes me rather fortunate.

First Few Days Back

Thanks to everyone that asked how everything turned out! We actually got more snow last Monday than we did during the Friday blizzard, so I was worried they'd close post down before I went everywhere I needed to but fortunately, they didn't. I had my final out in the morning, my farewell luncheon at 11 at my favorite Italian restaurant in Graf (it's not necessarily that they have the best food, but it was close to home and I always enjoyed the atmosphere, plus it's always nice to have a place where the waiters basically know what you are going to order). My replacement said they are going to get a plaque made for me so I'll actually have something to represent my time with the unit!

I'm really enjoying being back in the States. I've already found some furniture at Pier 1 and even opened up a credit card with them for a discount. Since they don't deliver, I had to call a delivery company they recommended to get everything to my place and waited all evening last night for it to come. I finally got a call from the company telling me that the driver had quit and they would reschedule me for this morning (which is why I'll be leaving Starbucks as soon as I'm done here).

I've been to Panera, Chipotle and Starbucks. I've also already been to Barnes and Noble and Victoria Secret. My credit card company actually put a warning on my card due to odd activity so I had to call and explain that I just moved back to the States and am spending a lot because 1) I'm setting up my new apartment and 2) I'm going to stores I haven't been to since last March. Fortunately this happened in the States and not while I was traveling in Europe - Victoria Secret wanted to make a sale so they were more than willing to let me use their phone while it would be hard to find a store that would let me call the States in Europe.

Anyway, I need to go; unfortunately my household goods won't be getting here for another month, and I'm really looking forward to hanging up all my decorations and souvenirs in my new place - now that I will have my own furniture, it's going to look really cool. I'll post pictures once it's completely set up.

Because Things Just Can't As Planned, Of Course

I moved out of my apartment on Thursday and will be staying at a hotel on post till Tuesday which has free internet - that naturally I can't get to work on my computer, hence I'm restricted to a quick session at the library at the moment (and I'm four reviews behind, so I could have really used the internet connection). And the library computer won't let me on facebook.

I was supposed to have my final out yesterday at 1230, which would have involved driving to Vilseck for an appointment with finance and getting my final signatures. Unfortunately, the weather stations were predicting a huge blizzard for yesterday so they closed post down at 1200, including finance. Fortunately I called before driving there, but they unceremoniously told me to come Monday at 1230, which also happens to be when we scheduled my farewell luncheon (I'm hoping that if I show up at 8 and beg, they might let me do it then).

Still, as a result, I had to extend my rental car since I need to drive the half hour to Vilseck still. Also, the post office didn't even bother to open on Friday, and I had a few packages I needed to send to myself. Of course, it turns out that might have been a good thing since I just got an email from the apartment building I will be living in, telling me they are putting me in a different apartment than they originally told me - apparently, I just never got the email. Too bad I already tried to be proactive and set up my utilities and my internet for the apartment number they originally told me, and I no longer have free calling to the States (and I am also having problems getting the phone in the hotel room to let me dial). And my current/former landlord called to tell me I owe him an extra 450 Euro for heating and water that wasn't covered in my rent because things have gotten so much more expensive (not to mention that I had to keep the heat on high because my apartment is cold as hell otherwise).

The best part? The blizzard? Yeah, we got like an inch or two tops. And the only thing we got before 5 pm yesterday was a slight dusting. Nothing like going overboard for nothing - I understand we don't people driving on bad roads but couldn't we wait till it actually starts snowing before freaking out? Maybe?

Obligatory Christmas Post

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I'm not really feeling the Christmas thing this year (although I treated myself to a massage at the spa which was nice; and I had a doener for dinner). I'm going to an old family friend's house for the day (she was kind enough to invite me) but part of me just wants to stay home and read - I'm not religious so other than a few days off, this holiday doesn't mean much to me at the moment.

However, for those of you that are in the spirit of things, Merry Christmas and enjoy your time with your families/friends. I'll be seeing mine in around 20 days, give or take.

My Name is Jennifer and I'm Addicted to Books

I'm starting to think I might have a little bit of a problem . . .

Right before the movers came, I went through my stack of unread books (which is rather large but there are always books that sound really good but then I'm never in the right mood to read them) and picked out enough to last me until January when I would fly back to the States. I didn't need any to last me longer than that because after I check into my hotel, Barnes and Noble will probably be the first stop I make in the States (or I might wait till the next day, after I sign for my apartment). The only problem is I can't seem to go more than a few weeks without going to Amazon and ordering more books.

I completely intended to just wait around, and simply add books that sounded interesting to my wishlist or add a star on Google Reader but then I found some books that I needed to have right then and there (I actually even tried ordering a few books for other people as gifts to see if that would help - I'm more concerned with the space issue in my suitcase than money or anything - but ended up ordering some I wanted as well). Basically, it seems that unless I have a stack of twenty books to choose from, I'm not happy. Oops. It's a good thing United allows military passengers with orders three checked bags.

And let's not even talk about how often I let myself get distracted by books. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows came out a week before I deployed. I picked my copy up maybe two or three days before we left, after I'd already put my car into storage and was relying on my boyfriend at the time to get me around. I was going to finally pack up my duffel bags and get ready for the flight but instead spent the entire afternoon reading and had accomplished absolutely nothing by the time he got back from taking care of some of his predeployment stuff(well, I had read half the novel which to me was a rather nice achievement). I didn't want to carry that huge book on the plane with me so I was more concerned with finishing it than packing everything else. Of course, in the end, my stuff and I made it to Iraq (didn't have much choice there) and I didn't have to bring Harry Potter.

I also managed to piss off the same boyfriend when I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (which by the way was picked as best novel of the decade by Pajiba readers). I started reading it the same weekend he decided he wanted to clean his apartment. So I sat on the couch and read while he cleaned. Apparently he thought I should help or something - whatever (I don't even clean my own place - I pay someone to do that). Although I can see where one thing in particular could be frustrating - he started cleaning up the DVDs as well, and got one of them out of the DVD player and handed it to me to put in the case - I stayed on the couch, reading, holding the DVD on one finger until he came back half an hour later and just did it himself - it was a really good part.

I also used to get in trouble with my parents on occasion. I remember when I was reading It, my mom wanted me to set the table, so I put the book down, and put the plates on the table, and went back to the book. Then she told me I'd forgotten napkins so I had to come back, and same thing. I think I had to go back like three times because I was in such a hurry to get back to my book. This happened another time as well and my dad was so irritated he took a novel from me and wouldn't give it back until I finished whatever I was supposed to do.

And it really gets in the way when it comes to gym, too. I like the act of reading so audiobooks just don't really work for me, and besides when I'm working out, I need loud, fast music, not talking. I have no problem going to the gym, sometimes I like it, but I will always choose a book over basically anything else. And you just can't run and read at the same time.

Is there a version of AA for people that are addicted to books?

Family . . .

I've written before about the difficult relationship I have with my grandfather. I hadn't actually spoken to him since April until this Friday but I figured since I was getting ready to move back to the States, I should probably tell him I was leaving the country. I also figured it would be easier if I did it since my mother and he have gotten into a few arguments about me in the past year (he likes to complain that I don't call but he doesn't call either, even after I made the effort to go to his birthday party).

Anyway, I called him last night and told him I just wanted to let him know that I was moving back to the States in January. I also told him that my weekends were already booked up and I was still working but maybe he'd be able to drive the hour and a half to come here and meet me for dinner. He told me he'd get back to me.

After that conversation, he called my uncle and started bragging about the fact that I'd called and wanted to see him and was going to visit him. As usual, he misunderstood but whatever.

Well, he got back to me today and asked me what my plan or intent was. And I once again said I thought maybe he could come down here to meet me for dinner. He said he couldn't drive to Grafenwoehr because he just couldn't do that to himself. But maybe he could meet me in Amberg, a town about half an hour away. I told him I didn't want to go Amberg, and I couldn't go to Bamberg to visit him for the same reasons I'd stated earlier and I'd also be shipping my car soon. He explained that taking a train to Grafenwoehr would just be too much of a hassle and he couldn't drive here at this time of year.

I've been in Germany for almost three years, excluding the fifteen month deployment. Even before my grandfather and I had a huge fight a little over a year ago, he never expressed an interest in coming to visit me. Everything has always had to be on his terms. I didn't expect anything to change but I thought I'd give him a chance to see me one last time before I left. I love Europe and living in Germany was a great way to travel to a bunch of different cities and countries I've always dreamed of going to. I will definitely come back to Europe but I am so over Germany. If I'm going to be paying to fly to Europe from the States, I'm going to be going to places I want to see such as Italy and the UK, maybe Spain and Greece.

My aunt and uncle who I am actually relatively close to fly to the States every once in a while so I'll see them then, and I'm sure once I've been away for a while, I'd be willing to make a detour to visit with them in Germany. I won't do it for my grandfather, though. My mom didn't even tell him last time she came to Germany (which was in September to see me) because she didn't want to deal with his drama. I will probably not see my grandfather again, and I don't know if he gets that. It's unfortunate and I realize I sound completely uncompromising but I'd be a lot more willing to give way if he had ever done so in the past few years or ever done anything that actually involved him going out of his way for me, like a real grandfather would do. He has never even tried to learn English, and this is a man that speaks three languages; he never even called me to congratulate me when I got promoted because he doesn't approve of my job and has never gone out of his way to take an interest in my interests. I can't say I'm surprised but I was hoping he'd surprise me, if not for my sake than at least for my mom as way of showing that he would make an effort for his family.

Oral surgery, finally

I am now lacking four teeth - I guess that's what I get for starting bar fights. Seriously though, I finally had my wisdom teeth removed today - there is only one oral surgeon in the area so I've been trying to schedule this since August, when tooth pains nearly ruined my weekend in Budapest.

It went quickly, but I really wasn't as knocked out as I'd wanted to be. Unfortunately. The areas were numb and all and for the most part I just felt odd amounts of varying pressure and heard weird sounds (I may have screamed a little at one point). I was also shaking through most of the procedure so I'm not sure if it was nerves or if that was the only real effect the drug was having on me (I had a surgery in college, and my mom told me that I was getting the shakes when I was starting to wake up or something so they had to give me another sedative). Unfortunately, they'd already thrown the teeth away when I asked if I could see them so I'm not sure what that's going to mean for the tooth fairy. Still, I think these have to be worth a little extra (hint, hint - Mom - how about Season 4 of Supernatural?).

Anyway, here's hoping the recovery goes well, and I don't end up with anything like dry socket.

Also, thanks to Jak for driving me to the clinic, waiting around and taking me home and not once laughing about the strings of gaze hanging out of my mouth. I looked like a malformed vampire, seriously, sans glitter, of course because those aren't vampires.

My Apartment 2

And here's the rest of my soon to be former apartment.

These are tiles from Florence in the hallway to the bathroom. I bought my parents a tile that says beware of the cats in Italian at the same store.

This is a view of my hallway from the front door. The door on the right leads into the living room (I'm standing next to the door to my bedroom and if I went left, I'd be in my bathroom).

This is the other side of the hallway with the door to the guest room. The really cute coffee themed mirror is from a home decor store in Schweinfurt.

This is the guest room with several masks from Italy (specifically Venice and Florence). I have one more (hence the big gap) but I haven't found any hanging wire to hang it with (all the others masks already had hooks with them).

I spent Thanksgiving weekend in Seville, so I didn't bother to hang up anything from there but once I'm in the States I'm going to hang this fan surrounded by a bunch of postcards of vintage travel posters/advertisements from Seville such as the ones seen here. They'll probably end up in the guest room but it all depends on my new place.

And finally the kitchen - those are not my curtains. They came with the place.

Alcohol and Starbucks.

Alright, so that's the apartment. So where the hell are the packers? I kind of wanted to go into work today, and while they say they'd be here anytime between 8 and 5, the guy that did the preinspection last week said they'd be here early and only take about an hour and a half (how pathetic is that? My whole life can be packed up in an hour and a half).

My Apartment 1

I'm currently waiting for the packers to come and put all my things in boxes. As I was waiting around, I decided it might be a good idea to take a few pictures of the place since I am actually kind of happy with the way some of the rooms ended up decorating-wise after almost three years. Other rooms, I didn't really do much of anything with though I already have the prints and posters I want to get framed and hang up once I'm in the States. For example, my bedroom right now has nothing on the walls but I have three black and white prints/photographs of Rodin sculptures that I'm going to hang up in there as well as a few Mucha prints (and I'll probably end up getting Klimt's The Kiss as well).

It turns out most of my decorations are actually souvenirs with a few exceptions. I'm not sure how many pictures I can do per post so I'm going to break this up - most of my things are in the living room anyway.

I've actually divided my living room into two areas, the actual living room with television and the office space with the computer. This is by the entry into the living room and on the TV side of the room. I got the Tudor Rose at Westminster Abbey, and those are two black and white pictures of Big Ben.

This is the view from the corner next to my TV. Most of this stuff is from different home decor stores in a German shopping center in Schweinfurt (it's about an hour and a half away but since my uncle lives there, I actually go shopping there quite a bit).

Here is a closer view of one of my bookshelves - I don't arrange my book alphabetically or anything but there is definitely a system of sorts. Most of my favorite authors are on this shelf as well as all my fantasy and science fiction (this of course excludes the many books still at my parents' house). Most of the rose themed stuff is from the above mentioned decor stores but the candle is from Budapest, and the owl and thing to the left of it are from Athens.

This is the wall I see from the living room door - the pictures are from Paris, and the Greek style art is actually from a shop near the British Museum in London (since I've been to London twice unlike most other cities in Europe, I have quite a few things from there).

This is a view of the "office" half of my living room (you can also see the government furniture and couch). I need more bookshelves which will probably be the first thing I buy once I get to the States - knowing me, probably even before I buy a bed.

My hookah and the tablet are both from Istanbul. The reproduction of the Rosetta Stone is naturally from the British Museum and the thistle is from Scotland. I picked up the picture frame in Florence though I don't have anything to put in it.

The pictures are from Prague (it's only two hours away so I've been there a few times - such a great city), and the colorful cards on the other wall are views of Paris. And then of course there is my shot glass collection.

This is the view from my desk with coffee mugs from various cities and museums. Between these and the Starbucks city mugs on my fridge, I think I have more coffee mugs for decorative purposes than for drinking.

I'm horrible at getting the pictures and the spacing to line up - that's one thing I never understand about Blogger - however as bad as it may look, I'm not going to spend the next hour trying to adjust spacing.

Back Home

My plane got into Frankfurt-Hahn last night around midnight, so between getting my luggage and a four hour drive, I didn't get home until about 4:30. I couldn't even really take advantage of driving on the autobahn alone at night since large stretches were under construction, and therefore had rather restricted speed limits, and there were a few patches of fog. And then, of course, I wanted to unpack some to make sure that all my souvenirs had survived the trip (unpack and actually put clothes up - you must be kidding - even today, I only got through getting the dirty clothes washed, and the rest are in a pile in my room; although they are out of the bag - that's actually progress for me).

I had to run a few errands today, but didn't get quite as much accomplished as I wanted due to tiredness/distraction. The only thing that saved me really is the fact that day light savings ended in Germany this morning/last night (I didn't even realize it until I noticed that my computer was "off") so I gained an hour there that I didn't expect. Which basically just means I'm going to bed early. Hopefully, I'll get around to making a few blog entries here in the next few days - I have to leave next Sunday for a work related trip so I still have to get all my stuff together for that, put away quite a bit of laundry (it's all clean) and might be working late to catch up for last week and get ahead for next. I still want to blog about Venice, and also have a few books I still need to write about before Cannonball II officially kicks off on 1 November. I'd wanted to get some of the posts written today but that didn't happen so this entry really is just to make me feel like I did something even if it wasn't everything I'd wanted to.

Quick Update

The last few weeks have been insanely busy. I was in the field for a week in May, followed by a four day in Rome, three days of work, a short weekend during which I spent most of Sunday baking cakes and cup cakes for my promotion ceremony. I got promoted to captain on Monday, and have been busy at work due to USR and field prep. The rest of the company went to the field yesterday and I saw them off, and then dealt with Soldier issues that came up in the rear. I will be joining the company in the field tomorrow after I finish USR turn in up at brigade. I'm not going to have internet access while I'm out there, but it's going to be too busy out there anyway. I've seen a few people make comments about how they're going to use the summer to catch up on their reading; I'll be using mine to fall behind on my reading.

I do want to post some pictures from Rome since I loved it but it looks like that's definitely going to have to wait. Hopefully I'll get a chance to do it after I get back from the field and before my trip to Istanbul.

Here are a few pictures from my promotion, though. As a surprise, the commander and headquarters moved my office into the old PAC office so I now am no longer in the conference room.

Reenlisting

I know I don't generally talk about work on here anymore. Despite the fact that I don't have my full name anywhere on here, I still don't want my Soldiers to accidentally find it. Besides which, my chain of command all know about this (downrange blogs and webpages have to be registered). When I first got to the battalion I was told that if I'm too negative or critical that can also be seen as insubordination as well as a sign regarding the unit's morale for the enemy. However, this was just too cute/amusing not to share.

One of my specialists, well former specialists since I'm no longer his platoon leader having taken over the XO slot, had asked me a few months ago to give him the oath when he reenlisted. Shortly after this, he'd realized he wasn't in his window yet, but asked me if I would still be here when it did open and if I'd still be willing to do it down the line no matter what. Well, we finally got to the point where his window was going to open this week. He came up to me and told me, "Ma'am, I'm not going to reenlist after all. I didn't realize that if I reenlisted for stabilization, I'd have to add a year to my contract."

Now when people reenlist, there are usually a few incentives, especially for those doing it the first time: money, choice of duty station, reclass (change of job) or stabilization, which means they will get stay with the unit they're with for an additional year beyond the time they were already supposed to. The only reason this particular Soldier had even wanted to reenlist was to stay in the unit, so it is very unfortunate that his plans didn't work out the way he'd wanted them to, however that comment was just classic from that individual. He's nice, accomplishes his tasks but like many other young Soldiers his age, occasionally is a little naive. Naturally, the whole reason the Army has reenlistments and gives people these incentives is as a reward/bribe to get them to add time to their initial contract. Granted there are the occasional people that get lucky or time it just right: for example, downrange I had a Soldier that reenlisted for stabilization but the way the timing worked out, she only added a month or less to her contract. That's not the norm, though, and she also wasn't a first term Soldier, meaning she had reenlisted already once before.

Anyway, just thought I'd share - also if there are any cadets or new platoon leaders out there reading this, just make sure your Soldiers always read the fine print/understand what exactly they are committing themselves to - in this case, at least, he realized it before he signed on the dotted line.

3 Years

They finally released the sequence numbers for June and I'm on it! Along with about two thousand other people, but still, I'm excited. I thought I was going to have to wait until July. In about sixteen days or so, I am going to make captain. Along with that, I also hit my three year service date on 30 May, so I'm getting two pay raises within three days of each other.

For non-military folk, in February they released the list of people making captain this year, and each of them was assigned a number. In the middle of each month after that, the Army then releases the sequence numbers for those getting promoted on the first of the following month. It's mainly based on date of commissioning and that kind of stuff, so most of us get promoted in the same month, right around when we hit our three year mark.

Actually speaking of which, I commissioned exactly three years ago today. I can't believe I've been out of college for that long already.

Happy Birthday to Me

"So, you ever think about not celebrating a birthday? Just to try it, I mean?" - Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Older and Far Away"

It's my 25th birthday today. It's the first time in three years that I haven't been deployed or in the field for my birthday. Unfortunately, almost all my friends are one of those two, or in the States. This weekend, my friend and I are having a barbeque for our birthdays (hers is next week), but it should be a rather tame affair. She bought Guitar Hero World Tour for the Wii yesterday so that part should be fun. I was tempted to get it as well but I'm just not willing to shell out the $200 right now. Plus, it would probably be more fun if I ever got a router and hooked it up to my internet but that involves work . . .

Two years ago I was making fun of someone turning 25, telling him he was now a quarter of a century old. I got to hear that line today.

Picture of a cake at a 200 hundred year old Viennese bakery